weaving in and out of love

love has always been a strong subject in my life from as far back as I can remember. I was raised with love. My grandparents raised and taught me the importance of not only loving others, but of a humbled self love. They showed me that true love could exist and flourish just by example as their marriage lasted well beyond 60 years. They took the lines, "till death do us part" very seriously and followed through. Yet I have seen other examples of love, and how it can go south. I watched various family members, and friends through out my life go through divorce and breakups, all my life.. Most of these relationships that where ending, seamed to end very messily. Rarely does one hear tales of a relationship ending and the couple maintaining a friendship afterwords, especially when children are involved. What is it that defeats love the strongest force on earth, what is it that has gone so wrong that people in love cannot work it out? Somewhere along the lines, maybe it was just building up over time but love has died, maybe it wasn't meant to be in the first place, people together just to save face, to hide who they truly are. Sometimes relationships are built out of desperation and we really don't love the people we are with, we just go for them because of the fact that they want us, they show us attention, the crave us. In my life time I have had many loves. some puppy love, some mild love, some hard core love, and some love, that was more like infatuation, or a strong like. I have thought many times I had found the one, only to be left alone with a broken heart knowing that what I thought was right, was oh so wrong. I have been with the girl everyone warns you about, and the one ya take home to mom, if only I had a mom to take her home to... I was born just like anyone else, with a mother, but was never able to develop that bond, due to her death of leukemia when I was 7 months old. This is probably why I get mixed up with the wrong types of women. This is why i find the ones who sets off my triggers and makes them worse... We all have our traumas making love that much harder to find as we must find those who compliment our own faults....